Photo above is Bea Wilson Mansfield James Michael Mansfield, and James Dillon Mansfield
My oldest memories of my father, include his being the disciplinarian in the family, and one who spent a lot of time working when others would have rested. He wasn't afraid to use the “hickory stick” of which the song speaks: “Reading and writing and arrhythmic, taught to the tune of a hickory stick.” I remember hearing, “Just wait until your father gets home” more than once. Since I was the one in the family most likely to ignore rules I was also the one most likely to endure corporal punishment. My Grandmother, though, said my parents were just learning how to discipline through me rather than that I was too often the brat in the family.
My absolute first memory of my father was when I was being "Mike" at about age 5 and experimenting with the cigarette lighter my Uncle Bus left behind after a visit. I managed to get my Uncle's Zippo lit, then set fire to the curtains, which set fire to the painted ceiling in my "dormer-style" bedroom. It was then I realized I better tell on myself and screamed for help. My father and mother both came upstairs; and one of them tore the curtains down and stomped the fire out. Daddy realized he had a quick way of putting out the fire. The bathroom was on the other side of the room; and we had one of those rubber-hosed shower heads for rinsing hair while taking a bath. While my Mom held it onto the tub spigot, he pulled it as far into the bedroom as possible with the water going full force. Somehow it reached far enough (probably 10-15 feet) to put out the fire! You don't forget that kind of excitement.
As I said before, my father was a disciplinarian; but I do not remember any punishment for setting that fire, what was probably the worst things I did as a child or teen. I believe he had the wisdom to know I had been punished enough by the immense fear this had caused me. It is possible I was given some kind of corporal punishment or banished from play or something else; but, if so, I have no memory of it but only of the fire and my Dad's quick action to save us and the house.
Another important thing about my Father was how much he knew about so many things. This might not have been a special thing among his peers of that; but I never knew anyone else who could do so many things so well.
He built the home in which I spent years 6-20. When I say he built it literally. He dug the trench for the footer, mixed the concrete and poured it, laid the block on which the frame was placed, put on the siding, installed the windows and doors, laid the flooring, put in the furnace and water heater, wired the entire home, and roofed it. He only had help in two ways: Friends and family members helped raise the frame since doing that as an individual would be very difficult or impossible. Those friends and family would occasionally come just to help with whatever he was doing that day, too. He hired someone to plaster the inside walls and ceiling. He could weld, solder, work with electricity, fix the car, and more things than I can remember.
Photo above: Three of theMansfield children
In front of the home their father built..
He was not affectionate in a physical manner; but it would have been difficult to deny that his love was there for the five of us and our mother. As he got older he became more demonstrative; but it was difficult for him, just as it was once difficult for me.
One of the most dramatic memories I have of my father begins with the arguments we would have about the War in Viet Nam. We could never agree; but the war eventually ended. Many years later, with no lead up, my Father turned to me and said, “Mike, I was wrong about Viet Nam.” It wasn't easy for him to admit when he was wrong; but this was far beyond any usual disagreements we might have. This had to do with what the core of the United States was about and even when a veteran would have to say about that particular war. Later on Robert McNamara confirmed what we both eventually believed about Viet Nam.
I had a great mother. Perhaps I'll get the chance to write about her on a Mother's Day in the future; but my Father had an awful lot to do with the person I became, working hard, not giving up, and staying married now forty-six years, almost as long as he and my Mother.
Thanks Daddy. I'll miss you again this Sunday.
-- Reverend J. Michael Mansfield, BS, MT(ASCP), M. Div.